It was an hour before the meeting of the Ostrich Society was to meet in the garage of the President – the official meeting place of the Society. Warren Bullock knocked on the President’s door and was pacing in place, waiting for the President to answer the door. The President was still chewing his dinner when he opened the door and was stunned when Warren almost pushed him aside and came into the foyer.
“We have an emergency,” he said as he kept shifting from foot to foot. “There is a new “hue and cry” on Facebook that’s aimed at protecting the lifecycle of fish. The aim is to eliminate the trauma fish endure when they’re caught. They don’t just want them released, they don’t want them fished for in the first place.”
The President took this all in while swallowing the last bite of stuffed brook trout Mrs. President had baked from the mess of brookies he caught the day before on his beloved creek; the only name he ever gave to his favorite stretch of river …which he seldom shared.
“Calm down, Warren,” he said. “Who’s saying what, and what makes you think it’s more than just the normal moronic chatter from people who have a need to say whatever crosses their minds, but can’t find anyone to listen to them, so they type it, push a button and all of a sudden they have an audience?”
“This is different,” he said. “This group is organized. They have a name; they claim to have a charter and they’re taking donations to help in the “good fight” as they call it. Check it out yourself, if you don’t believe me. I’ll bet they sent you a link just like they did me.”
Sure enough, the President opened his Facebook page and found a post titled, “How would you like to be snagged?” and contained a link to a webpage called, Care – Respect- and Preserve – fish have feelings too …aka, CRaP!
The President offered Warren two-fingers-of-bourbon and returned to finish dinner. When he was done, he and Warren readied the garage for the meeting.
After the meeting was called to order, it didn’t take long for members to bring up CRaP. Those that hadn’t heard about it, listened while Warren, who was still agitated, brought the uninformed up to date until they were all full of CRaP. When he was done, the membership was so quiet you could hear a pin drip. They were looking back and forth at each other, shaking their heads. Finally Oleg, the official bartender of the Ostrich Society, opined that this wasn’t the first time someone had come up with CRaP and it probably wouldn’t be the last.
After more discussion about the problem CRaP could pose for fishermen everywhere, the general opinion was, if no one responded to CRaP on Facebook, in a few days it would just flush away.
The preceding is reported as THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH …give or take a lie or two.