The Ostrich Society went into their weekly session with the usual pomp and circumstance which consisted of the President slamming the ballpeen hammer on the workbench and announcing, “The meeting will come to order.”
There was the usual shuffling and filling of glasses with “two fingers” of bourbon, and of course, a chorus of “lay down and stay” given to several bird dogs. The only variation was Herman Schultz giving the command, “Platz,” to his German Short Hair, Fritz, who immediately took up his spot under Herman’s table.
The main order of business at the meeting was a discussion of who to endorse for public office. The Society was as apolitical as a rock, but the members did vote – most anyway – and wanted to make sure they were voting for the person who would hurt them the least.
The discussion began with comments about the advertisements both candidates ran; each one denouncing their opponent. Some were downright ugly, vicious and probably not totally true … but, one man’s truth is another man’s lie. The confusion about the ads was in not knowing who the groups were that claimed to be responsible for their content.
An hour had passed and they were still talking about how bad each candidate was according to the other and their support groups, when, Oleg, the official bartender of the Society, informed them they were running low on bourbon.
The announcement had the effect of a cold shower. There was a shuffling sound as they straightened in their chairs when someone asked, “Does anyone know anything positive about either candidate?” No one spoke up.
“Well, there is only one thing to do,” said Bill, who took the last swallow from his glass. “It seems to me, we ought to make a contribution to both candidate’s campaigns … just to make sure the winner knows there is money behind the Ostrich Society.”
The membership thought about what Bill said for a few minutes, then motioned and approved a sizable donation to both candidates.
“Now,” the President asked. “Who’s going to make a liquor store run?”
The preceding is reported as THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH …give or take a lie or two!