In lieu of the Governor’s “shelter in place” order, this letter will take place of our monthly meeting in the President’s garage.
There are certain proprieties to be adhered to not the least of which is the allotment of bourbon to each member in attendance. It was suggested that each member notify the treasurer of the amount of bourbon consumed during the reading of this letter, but after much thought and scrutiny of our funds in the treasury, it was decided that each member be given credit for six fingers of bourbon to be paid at the next allowable meeting. Oleg Johannsen, official bartender of the Ostrich Society, and man with the biggest fingers in the Society, is directed to make sure the supply is adequate. (A lesson learned from the Federal Government’s strategic supply depot).
A committee is being formed to look into the supply of flies on hand once this quarantine is lifted. Thoughts are since there will probably be a glut of flies, there will be a demand for tying materials since no one has been able to look for roadkill or leave their homes to acquire feathers and fur by other means. The flies may be beyond the emergence schedules time table, depending how long the shelter-in-place is in effect and a roadkill patrol is being organized.
The last issue is a reminder to all members of dubious character (Poaching Jack and others) that if weakness and lack of common sense take hold, and a member is caught poaching, the Society will not be able to provide bail until the quarantine is lifted.
These thoughts reflect the elected board and are presented to be The Truth, Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth …give or take a lie or two!