Category Archives: They did what?
The special meeting of the Ostrich Society was called to order by the President at precisely 7:30 p.m. All members of the Society were in attendance. Since a special meeting had been called to raise the price of each “two fingers” pour of bourbon and only 10 or so members showed to vote, no one missed a special meeting.
Actually, the price didn’t go up, Oleg Johansen – Official Bartender of the Ostrich Society, – went on vacation and a replacement had to be found to pour “two fingers” at a time. The replacement was chosen from those in attendance and had small fingers compared to Oleg…hence the ensuing anarchy which resulted in another special meeting to undo the effect of the first special meeting. No member missed attending a special meeting since.
This meeting was called to clear the air about the veracity of the internet when a problem arose when one of the members was given an iPad by his kids who wanted “dad” to get with the times. They meant well, but for a while, it was touch and go whether the iPad was going into the trash or not. It seems after several “two fingers” the written word with pictures, became everyone’s gospel – most of the members had cell phones, but only Bill Polanski had an iPad, and of those with cell phones, most were flip-phones.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Bill Polanski and Jake Grumpgardner went fishing for brookies. As was to be expected, they engaged in a friendly competition of who caught the biggest brookie, each putting up a dozen flies. The problem arose when photos were taken of each one holding their catch and they thought they had to take the iPad to Walmart to get the photo developed where they learned the photos were ready to be seen and were stored in the iPad’s photo app. They also learned about something called Facebook.
What a gadget! All was well until it came time to decide who caught the biggest fish. Looking at the photos over “two fingers,” Bill claimed victory. Though he wasn’t sure why, but that brookie in the photo was the biggest he’d ever seen. It was huge. When he told Jake he owed him a dozen flies, Jake balked and said, “I don’t know how you did this, but that’s not the same fish you caught on our trip. I don’t owe you a thing.”
They argued, filled their glasses with more “two fingers” of bourbon and decided to let the members of the Ostrich Society decide and be the final judges.
As was expected, half of the members congratulated Bill for the State Record Brook trout and the other half accused him of doctoring the photo. Finally, after much argument and more “two fingers,” Clarence Blueblood, one of the youngest members (somewhere between 40 and 65) chimed in and gave a tutorial about taking pictures with any camera and how proportions can be deceiving. “The further you hold an object from you, the larger the object appears. The closer you hold an object to you, the truer the size.”
Finally, after taking several photos with the iPad, Clarence made his point. So after some thought, a special meeting was called to warn members about the pitfalls of believing everything they see and read on the internet, and a list of five axioms were agreed upon:
- Do not indulge in “two fingers” when judging a photograph on the internet.
- If a hand stretches from the gill to the anal port, it’s probably not the width of the person’s chest that’s holding the fish.
- There is no editor on Facebook; there may be a distortion of facts, maybe.
- “Friends” are just people you’ve chosen to see your posts, and may have a different truth than you.
- If you want to play Bingo, go to the American Legion Hall; don’t click on a shared site from a “friend” and give your credit card number.
The preceding is recorded as The Truth, Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth …give or take a lie or two!
Category Archives: They did what?
SPECIAL MEETING OF THE OSTRICH SOCIETY
Where: Mr. President’s garage
When: Thur. 7 p.m.
“Five Things to Look For When Being Told The Truth”
(Minutes will be taken)
Category Archives: They did what?
Life is simple; when you are born, like a sponge, you soak up everything that engages your senses; when you become an adult, you put to use what you have soaked up; and after you have passed on the sum of your experiences …you die.
It is an infinitive process; it repeats in everyone’s existence. It is the way we measure a person and give them credit for their existence; good or bad.
The Ostrich Society is a macrocosm of this as it plunders through …no, provides a venue for its members to plunder their way through, encompassing the several stages influenced by family, friends and the out-of-doors.
Though individuals – each being set in their ways – collectively, they function as one, each on a pilgrimage to becoming piscators and dwellers of grouse habitat, without explanation or obligation to anyone’s dictum ….except perhaps a bird dog, fine or otherwise.
Category Archives: They did what?
The meeting of the Ostrich Society was a somber one. It was the traditional time when the Society paid tribute in remembrance of members who had strung their last rod. This meeting was especially somber because “Poaching Jack McGraw” would not be in attendance because he had been given his reward just two days prior to the scheduled meeting.
Jack McGraw was one of the founding members of the Ostrich Society. He was there at the beginning and missed few meetings over the past forty years. He was known as a jovial fellow who was always willing to have a good time and loved to cook. Jack had a small hot plate he brought to all of the meetings and always had fish stew simmering in an old army pot. Someone tagged him with the name of “Poaching Jack” which was assumed to refer to his boiling of fish.
This meeting wouldn’t have fish stew simmering on a hot plate and it was missed. So with raised glasses of two fingers of bourbon, a toast was made to “Poaching Jack McGraw”.
Now it was customary to place an item belonging to the deceased on the back wall of the President’s garage where the Society met: Fly rods, reels, pictures, etc. So the conversation drifted to finding what would best pay tribute to “Poaching Jack”. After some discussion, someone suggested the old army pot Jack cooked the stew in. Almost instantaneously they all agreed ….all except the President.
The President gaveled the meeting to back to order and said he had the floor. “You boys have this thing all wrong. Let me tell you a story about Jack McGraw.”
“Jack and I served in Viet Nam together. Jack was a communications specialist which meant he set up field phones between companies. Jack loved to tinker with those phones like some of you guys do with your computers today. A field phone was basically a small generator with a phone receiver. To make a call, you had to rotate a small crank on the unit and a current would be sent to activate the phone at the other end of the wire. Jack figured out other uses for the phone. He loved to play practical jokes and would connect the phone wire to a guy’s metal bunk and crank the handle on the generator when the unsuspecting person’s hand touched the metal frame while he was sleeping. The guy would jump, Jack would laugh uncontrollably and a fight ensued.”
The President went on to explain that Jack figured out that if he dropped the wire into a stream or pond and cranked the generator, anything within range of the resulting electrical jolt would be stunned and float to the surface. The local villagers loved him and Jack was glad to oblige. Jack never got over all the fish he could get with just a simple turn of the crank of that field phone.”
A few of the members caught on and a grin from ear to ear shown on their faces. “You see,” the President went on. “Jack wasn’t called Poaching Jack because he boiled fish stew; he got the nickname “Poaching Jack” because he poached fish with his field phone. Where do you guys think all the fish he put in his stew came from?”
“When the time comes we put anything on the wall to remind us of Jack McGraw, it ought to be the old army field phone he kept in his trunk.”
From the back of the room someone asked, “What do you mean, when the time comes?”
“Poaching Jack” isn’t dead; he’s in the county jail serving ten days for illegal taking of fish,” the President revealed. “It seems the game warden saw Jack scoop up fish floating on top of the water with a net with the field phone sitting on the bank and the wires hanging in the water. He refused to pay the five hundred dollar fine, so the judge gave him ten days.”
Uncontrollable laughter broke out as the President tried to regain control of the meeting.
“I figure if every one of us put ten bucks in the pot, we’d have enough to pay “Poaching Jack’s” fine.”
As tight as some of these guys were, no one refused to chip in. The money was collected and “Poaching Jack” was sprung and the true story of how “Poaching Jack McGraw” got his nickname was revealed.
The preceding is submitted as: THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH ….give or take a lie or two.
Category Archives: They did what?
With howling winds blowing across Lake Michigan and Superior, temperatures plummeting and snow rising, deer and other foraging mammals herd up in numbers amongst their own kind seeking comfort and a chance at surviving until winter’s grip relents and spring returns with its allure of renewal. The hardcore traditionalist members of the Ostrich Society are no different. Those not following the migration to warmer states for the cold winter months also herd-up seeking comfort amongst their kind in an effort to give sanity a shot at returning with warmer days ….the culprit of course, is cabin fever.
It’s been an established tradition with the membership that at least once a week they gather in the President’s garage – heated with an old pot-bellied wood burning stove – to tie flies. Unlike the regular monthly meetings, these gatherings begin in mid-afternoon and last until the allotted wood supply for the meeting is used up and the bourbon’s insulating affect has worn off. Anywhere from four to a dozen members can be found sitting around card tables and along the workbench, glasses perched on the tips of their noses as they tie barbules of feathers, strands of fur and hair or yarn taken from their wives sewing baskets onto hooks varying in size.
Last Wednesday was such a gathering of the faithful. The meeting had not been officially called to order, it just sort of got underway when Al and Pete showed up, lit the stove and poured two fingers of Maker’s Mark. By the time they got halfway through tying an Early Black Stone, Bill and Sam arrived with Carl and Walt not far behind.
Pete and Walt had their bird dogs in tow – both Britts – and after some traditional crotch and butt sniffing, followed by robust rubbing behind the ears, they settled down next to the fire. The scene might not have been one out of a Courier and Ives depiction but if someone had taken a snapshot, it might have hung next to the picture of dogs playing poker.
Walt brought a new vise and was anxious to show it off. It had been a Christmas present from his kids and though there was nothing wrong with his old Renzetti presentation, he felt obligated to use the new one made of space aged plastic with a lot of extra gadgets sticking out from it. He wasn’t sure what all the gadgets were for, but he wanted the kids to have gotten their money’s worth, so he began to set it up as the picture showed on the box.
Pete was on his third Stone when Al looked over at Walt and asked what he was going to do with that erector set he brought with him? Walt didn’t take the bait and poured himself his first glass of two fingers worth. After a quick gulp, he returned to trying to put the vise together.
All of a sudden one of the dogs startled everyone when he let out a loud yelp, jumped up and began running in a circle like he was chasing his tail. Sam grabbed him when he got close enough and rubbed his backside which was smoking until the dog relaxed. The dog tried to lick at the spot where the smoke was rising from but couldn’t reach it. A bare spot was now evident where fur had been only seconds before and two other spots were noticed.
“That’s the third time this week that dumb dog burned himself because he inched his way too close to a fire,” Sam said as he took one of the ice cubes from his glass and touched it on the dog’s bare spot. “Three times now he burned himself lying in front of a fire just staring at me while I try to put this vise together.”
The dog settled down and the Society went back to tying flies, all except Walt who was still trying to put his new vise together.
“Have you ever had a hook in that vise, Al asked?
“I haven’t figured out how it goes together yet; I’ve poked myself with these extensions, crawled on my hands and knees looking for nuts and small bolts I dropped; I even got so frustrated I grabbed the whole thing and threw it on the ground.”
“Geez Walt,” said Pete. “That poor dog isn’t trying to set himself on fire intentionally, he’s laughing so hard watching you imitate a monkey playing with a football, trying to set up the vise, he forgets all about where he’s at and backs into the hot stove.”
After chuckles of agreement, Walt gave up on the hi-tech vise, poured two more fingers and rubbed the dog’s ears. He could swear the dog was shaking like someone laughing uncontrollably.
These events were reported to be THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH….give or take a lie or two!
Category Archives: They did what?
At precisely 7:30 pm, amidst laughter and revelry, the President of the Ostrich Society struck the ball peen gavel on the workbench which was covered with wild game and homemade dishes provided by the members of the Society. It took two raps before the members quieted down enough to proceed.
A loud voice from next to the makeshift bar setup made the motion to dispense with normal business and proceed directly to the business at hand which was the continuation of the revelry which had begun an hour prior. In unison, members seconded the motion and the gavel struck once more and the President announced “Let the party begin.”
The garage – the official meeting place of the Ostrich Society – had been transformed from the usual rustic man-cave setting to a festive holiday motif: Greenery was strung through the rafters with pinecones hanging here and there and red and gold ribbon laced throughout. A small pine was standing on a table which had been dug from along the South Branch of the Au Sable. It would later be planted in a members yard.
Several members brought their bird dogs who, for the most part, were sitting next to where the food was displayed, sitting attentive in hopes of sharing the bounty. Others were sitting next to their hunting partners getting the occasional hand-out.
The mood was jovial. All were laughing, telling stories, all except Paul McBride, who was leaning against the bar drinking four fingers of bourbon. (The two finger rule had been relaxed for the occasion.) Paul wasn’t in the holiday spirit, he had suffered the loss of his hunting partner, Trescott, several weeks ago to a rare form of cancer.
Trescott was Paul’s German Shorthair Pointer of 11 years and his constant companion. Trescott would ride next to him in the truck, wait for him while he was in a store and sit in the front hall of the house staring at the door when Paul went out without him. They ate together, slept together, hunted together and were generally considered to be one entity. When the Vet diagnosed Trescott with cancer, it was as though Paul had been diagnosed. And when the end came, the life seemed to have left him too. Since that time, Paul just went through the motions of getting on with life, so the Society hatched a plan.
It was customary for members to give small gifts which ranged from flies to hand loaded shells. Occasionally a younger member would receive an old fly rod or shotgun from one of the “old timers” who decided the recipient would appreciate the item, respect its history and eventually pass it on.
The exchange had been going on for an hour when the door to the garage opened and a uniformed policeman entered. Seeing the uniform, the garage instinctively quieted down until it was clear the officer was none other than Jake McGraw.
Jake called out of service for his dinner break and helped himself to the wild game dishes he had helped provide. He pulled up a chair next to Paul and casually began a conversation about the call he had just come from. Someone had abandoned a litter of what looked to be German Shorthair pups. They were two or three months old and cute as buttons. He called animal control and they removed the pups to the shelter and were sure someone would adopt them. The shelter group would neuter and spay them before they were adopted.
Paul interjected after hearing that the pups would be neutered that it was a shame to neuter a fine hunter. Trescott had never been neutered and Paul was sorry he had not kept one of his offspring from one of the litters he sired. He lamented how great it would be to keep Trescott’s line going. He hadn’t noticed that the room went quiet. They all watched as Paul showed signs of life, talking with Jake about the pups. Jake asked if he Paul was serious. Paul thought for a moment then said, “I’d give anything to have a piece of Trescott in my life.”
A big grin appeared on Jake’s face as he got up and left the garage. When he returned, he held a squirming bundle of liver, white and black.
The President quickly explained the pup Jake held actually came from a litter in Minnesota that had been sired by a descendant of Trescott. Jake had driven there to get the pup. The members had concocted Jake’s story to find out what Paul’s thinking was about a new pup.
Paul, not being known to be sentimental, wiped a tear from the corner of his eye as the members cheered and wished him a Very Merry Christmas.
The annual prize of a bottle of fine bourbon awarded for the best gift was opened and shared by all.
The above is related as The Truth, Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth …..give or take a lie or two!
Category Archives: They did what?
The Ostrich Society went into their weekly session with the usual pomp and circumstance which consisted of the President slamming the ballpeen hammer on the workbench and announcing, “The meeting will come to order.”
There was the usual shuffling and filling of glasses with “two fingers” of bourbon, and of course, a chorus of “lay down and stay” given to several bird dogs. The only variation was Herman Schultz giving the command, “Platz,” to his German Short Hair, Fritz, who immediately took up his spot under Herman’s table.
The main order of business at the meeting was a discussion of who to endorse for public office. The Society was as apolitical as a rock, but the members did vote – most anyway – and wanted to make sure they were voting for the person who would hurt them the least.
The discussion began with comments about the advertisements both candidates ran; each one denouncing their opponent. Some were downright ugly, vicious and probably not totally true … but, one man’s truth is another man’s lie. The confusion about the ads was in not knowing who the groups were that claimed to be responsible for their content.
An hour had passed and they were still talking about how bad each candidate was according to the other and their support groups, when, Oleg, the official bartender of the Society, informed them they were running low on bourbon.
The announcement had the effect of a cold shower. There was a shuffling sound as they straightened in their chairs when someone asked, “Does anyone know anything positive about either candidate?” No one spoke up.
“Well, there is only one thing to do,” said Bill, who took the last swallow from his glass. “It seems to me, we ought to make a contribution to both candidate’s campaigns … just to make sure the winner knows there is money behind the Ostrich Society.”
The membership thought about what Bill said for a few minutes, then motioned and approved a sizable donation to both candidates.
“Now,” the President asked. “Who’s going to make a liquor store run?”
The preceding is reported as THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH …give or take a lie or two!
Category Archives: They did what?
At precisely 7:30 the President struck the workbench with the ballpeen hammer and called the meeting of the Ostrich Society to order. Thirty four of the 35 members and eight bird dogs were in attendance, the only one absent was doing community service as a condition of probation for fishing without a license.
Oleg, the official bartender of the Ostrich Society, a duly elected and important position, was pouring “two fingers” of bourbon, the official drink of the Society. Oleg’s election to the position of bartender wasn’t a fluke, Oleg has the largest hands of anyone in the Society and therefore pours the healthiest drink …because of a mishap at a prior meeting, he made sure to keep his distance from the workbench.
The membership was spread out over several tables, each sporting tying vises and an array of tied flies and a few books with recipes. The only table without tying paraphernalia was the table in the corner of the garage where “Poaching Jack” and “Wild Bill” sat in low toned conversation.
After the treasurer gave his financial report that consisted of the club’s liability to the local liquor store and the balance of the emergency fund, a motion to accept the report was made and seconded. It passed unanimously after an admonishment by Harry Andrews about the amount of bourbon the Society goes through monthly.
“We understand, Reverend Harry,” John interrupted. “No one is asking for an increase for the cost of one of Oleg’s pours. It’s just a matter of routine that the report is made. Your glass is almost empty, let me buy you another.”
A slight chuckle came from the membership and the meeting went on.
“Poaching Jack” and “Wild Bill” were still holding their own meeting when the President struck the workbench again with the ballpeen hammer and announced that the business was completed and the social hour was now in session.
The “Shakers,” the oldest members of the Ostrich Society, were sitting around Henry, watching him tie a soft hackle pattern that seemed slightly different from any they had seen before. It had a body from a stripped quill grouse body feather and was tied in backwards, that is, the thick end was tied in first then wound forward as it got thinner. There was no tail and the hackle was a strand of a silver colored yarn, picked and separated to appear scraggly. It was tied on a size 8 hook and didn’t look as though it imitated anything other than a clump of lint at the end of a hook.
Meanwhile, “Poaching Jack” and “Wild Bill” were now mingling with the others and after watching Henry tie his pattern, changed the conversation to Tom Abercrombie, who was missing because he was doing community service after being sentenced by Judge Hoover, a former member of the society, for fishing without a license.
Both men thought the sentence was outrageous and the Society should take a stand …demonstrate, show support for Tom, who they thought was made an example of.
All nodded in agreement and “Wild Bill” continued. “We all know Tom Abercrombie is as honest as they come and wouldn’t do anything to break the law, that’s why he walked home instead of drove.
It happened the night Abercrombie left his Jeep at the President’s house and walked home. Events were set in motion at last month’s meeting when Tom Abercrombie had a couple of generous pours from Oleg after Oleg’s fingers were swollen when the President accidently struck him with the ballpeen hammer. Oleg had his hand on the workbench and neither he nor the President were paying attention when the meeting was called to order. The end result was Oleg’s regular pours became even more generous.
As Abercrombie walked past the fountain in front of the court house, he noticed what appeared to be trout in the fountain. Not believing his eyes, he decided to find out for sure and went home, got his fly rod and came back and began casting soft hackle flies to the fish. Nothing. Having gotten a second wind due to Oleg’s generosity, he kept at it until a cop came by and asked him what he was doing. Abercrombie explained he was trying to catch the trout in the fountain and return them to the creek where they belonged.
The cop looked into the fountain and saw nothing but change sparkling on the bottom and decided to arrest him for Drunk and Disorderly. That morning he was taken in front Judge Hoover who asked him where he had been, how he got there and what he thought he was doing. Tom told him what happened.
The judge laughed and asked if he had a fishing license on him at the time. He said he did have one, but not on him. The Judge hit his gavel and sentenced him to 10 hours of community service; enough time to clean the fountain, in particular, scrub the bottom to get rid of the discoloration and debris that had collected.
After hearing the story, some of the members began to laugh, which turned into belly laughs and spread throughout the garage.
Finally the President said, “What’s the big deal? The Judge could have put him in jail for being drunk and disorderly. He could have come down on us for serving him that night and he could have cost everyone a lot of money.”
The Reverend spoke up again, “Yea, including his brother-in-law, who owns the liquor store we owe money to.”
The preceding was entered into the official minutes of the Ostrich Society as THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH ….give or take a lie or two!
Category Archives: They did what?
It was an hour before the meeting of the Ostrich Society was to meet in the garage of the President – the official meeting place of the Society. Warren Bullock knocked on the President’s door and was pacing in place, waiting for the President to answer the door. The President was still chewing his dinner when he opened the door and was stunned when Warren almost pushed him aside and came into the foyer.
“We have an emergency,” he said as he kept shifting from foot to foot. “There is a new “hue and cry” on Facebook that’s aimed at protecting the lifecycle of fish. The aim is to eliminate the trauma fish endure when they’re caught. They don’t just want them released, they don’t want them fished for in the first place.”
The President took this all in while swallowing the last bite of stuffed brook trout Mrs. President had baked from the mess of brookies he caught the day before on his beloved creek; the only name he ever gave to his favorite stretch of river …which he seldom shared.
“Calm down, Warren,” he said. “Who’s saying what, and what makes you think it’s more than just the normal moronic chatter from people who have a need to say whatever crosses their minds, but can’t find anyone to listen to them, so they type it, push a button and all of a sudden they have an audience?”
“This is different,” he said. “This group is organized. They have a name; they claim to have a charter and they’re taking donations to help in the “good fight” as they call it. Check it out yourself, if you don’t believe me. I’ll bet they sent you a link just like they did me.”
Sure enough, the President opened his Facebook page and found a post titled, “How would you like to be snagged?” and contained a link to a webpage called, Care – Respect- and Preserve – fish have feelings too …aka, CRaP!
The President offered Warren two-fingers-of-bourbon and returned to finish dinner. When he was done, he and Warren readied the garage for the meeting.
After the meeting was called to order, it didn’t take long for members to bring up CRaP. Those that hadn’t heard about it, listened while Warren, who was still agitated, brought the uninformed up to date until they were all full of CRaP. When he was done, the membership was so quiet you could hear a pin drip. They were looking back and forth at each other, shaking their heads. Finally Oleg, the official bartender of the Ostrich Society, opined that this wasn’t the first time someone had come up with CRaP and it probably wouldn’t be the last.
After more discussion about the problem CRaP could pose for fishermen everywhere, the general opinion was, if no one responded to CRaP on Facebook, in a few days it would just flush away.
The preceding is reported as THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH …give or take a lie or two.
Category Archives: They did what?
The two-track was well rutted and the two wheel drive’s bottomed out on the center hub but kept going, scraping the under carriage of the well-worn fish cars. The two occupants in the first truck were the advance team for the Ostrich Society Steelhead Outing, sent to ready the campsite the group had used for the past 15 years. It wasn’t really necessary to send an advance team, the campsites were usually empty this early in the season, but the Society didn’t like to waste time on setup, so the advance team was formed and sent with specific instructions to reconnoiter and prepare a campsites.
Harold and Mac picked the short straw this year and with a full pickup bed, made the trek to the banks of the river. The steelhead had just begun to make their way upstream from the big lake and it was decided that the weekend would be too crowded with day packers, so they set the date of the camp for Monday. By Friday they would have had enough of sleeping in trucks, tents and a few in tents, and be ready to head back.
The Ostrich Society seldom stayed in motels. Motels were seen as a waste of money and a lazy man’s way of getting out-of-doors. If a fisherman was serious about fishing for a week with friends, he shouldn’t be confined by walls and rules. Setting up a camp with a cook tent – with everyone pitching in to prepare meals – just enhanced the experience.
Actually, the camp wasn’t as rustic as it sounded. Most of the campers were over 50 and had done this for a long time and had it down to a science. They even had a makeshift shower made from a beer keg, kept under pressure with a hand pump and attached to a hose with a showerhead. As they got older, the evening activities waned as the allure of a sleeping bag became as irresistible as an egg pattern to a steelhead.
Harold and Mac pulled into the cud-de-sac which created an island of sorts rung by the two-track and contained an old buck-pole that had been put up years ago constructed from lumber hewn from downed trees. It hadn’t been used for years, but was too big to rot quickly and now served more as a landmark and a backdrop for a fire pit.
The first order of business was to select a site for the cook tent. It would be the center of camp activity and was big enough not only for the propane griddles, but also the tables for eating ….and tying flies on.
The shower was set up next to the cook tent because it shared the propane tanks to heat the keg and produce at least warm water. The keg was big enough to hold enough water for 4 to 5 quick showers and would have to be taken to a well site with a hand pump to be refilled. Some took fewer showers than others since the one using the last of the water had to refill it.
By the time the others arrived, most just had to pitch a tent or back their trucks with campers into a spot that formed a ring around the cook tent. Setting up a privy was everyone’s responsibility, the only mandate agreed on was it needed to be far away from the cook tent. They didn’t want competition with the smell of morning coffee and frying bacon.
The Ostrich Society always traveled with its own bartender. Oleg Johansen was the official bartender of the Society; having been duly elected by the membership, and traveled with them on the traditional outings. A kitty was created to cover the cost of the bourbon, but each man gave Oleg a couple of flies for every drink he poured them. It was a win/win situation: Oleg was responsible that the camp didn’t run out of bourbon, and since Oleg didn’t tie his own flies, well….he didn’t need to.
By Friday, the camp was well broke-in: Showers, meals and daily cleanup was down to a science and the camp was quite comfortable. The weather obliged by temperatures staying tolerable – not too hot during the day and not too cold at night. It had only rained for half a day and then not too hard. The camp dried out quickly.
Fish were caught; some kept, most released; a few lost. All were satisfied. Saturday morning, after breakfast consisting of coffee, bacon and eggs, pancakes and fishcakes made with left over mashed potatoes and steelhead fillets, camp was struck and everything brought in was taken out.
Making their way back to the highway, Harold and Mack were the last to negotiate the two-track, scraping the under carriage of the two wheel drive. It was the parting sound of another great trip put on by the Ostrich Society.
The preceding is reported as …THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH …give or take a lie or two!