The members of the Ostrich Society were feeling left out. It seems at the last meeting, Joe Butler, after several fingers of bourbon poured by Oleg Johansen – the member with the largest hands in the Society, and official bartender – was heard grousing that he felt left out. He went on to say that in these times of victimization, he couldn’t come up with a single time when he felt like a victim. He didn’t count the time he landed in the emergency room after being in a car – deer collision, after all, the deer didn’t hit the car, the car hit the deer. Nor did he count the time he almost drowned when he waded too far into the river for a better position to cast to a rising trout and water rushed over the top of his waders. He had to cut a hole in the waders to equalize the pressure so he could walk out of the hole. He did reach the spot he wanted to get to and hooked the trout thanks to a nicely tied and presented Borcher.
After more two fingers of bourbon, the mood of the members turned melancholy. Others complained of being left behind the times by not having been seen as victims.
Pat O’Grady said he heard this victim stuff was grandfathered. “You can go back years to claim your victim status, no questions asked either.”
Joe Butler began to re-examine his two situations. “You know, the State made a victim of me by not posting signs that deer may be crossing the road. There could have been flashing lights to warn traffic. They could have put generators or solar panels to operate the lights.”
O’Grady agreed, “They should warn people, and on top of it all, they own the deer and have a responsibility to manage them. Joe, they made a victim out of you.”
Joe Butler began to nod his head, then took another sip and slowly concluded that the State made a victim of him when his waders filled with water too. There should have been signs, “If you step in a hole, water may be over your waders, go around.”
Lawyers Wanted – Common Sense Not Required
The ostrich society should meet more often.