Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
Makes sense to me!
Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
Thought of the day
For those who think they’re shrinking as they get older, go for a walk in the snow wearing felt sole wadding boots; before you get a 20 yards, you’ll be two inches taller …you might as well take a fly rod with you, why waste the euphoria you feel from putting on wadding boots.
TD
Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
Thought of the day
Teach a man to fly fish and he can feed himself …teach a man to tie flies and he’ll forget he’s hungry!
Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
Grandkids need to stay close to their elders!
If it wasn’t for my kids, I’d still be carrying a cellphone with an antenna …you remember those bulky handhelds that needed the antenna raised to get good reception. I’ve evolved; but only to a place in the cellular world that has me using a flip phone.
I’m a little bit better when it comes to computers. I still rely on my kids to decipher the software, but I’m at least into a laptop …“She Who Must Be Obeyed” has an iPad that was supposed to be our IPad, but I now get scowled at when I try to use it. I understand her reluctance to share, I’m the same way with my bamboo fly rods…oops! I mean, rod.
Since being cooped up (it’s been almost three weeks since Seamus and I smelled the fresh, clean, lung-biting air of Northern Michigan) I’ve been trying to busy myself with fly tying, teaching fly tying and helping at the MFFC kids tying booth at the fishing shows.
Having so much time on my hands, I tend to analyze things (that’s another way of saying, I’m out-thinking myself) and have come to the conclusion that, although this cyber space thing can teach, it can and is used as the consummate marketing tool. Everything I look at has an advertisement in it, next to it or sometimes on top of it. It’s like Saturday morning cartoons, which are basically infomercials for toys kids just won’t be happy without …which gives rise to, “The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys!”
I think fly fishing is being marketed out of existing for all but the well healed…but it doesn’t have to be. The key to keeping the sport at a basic level is, sharing what we know with newbies and not give the perception that anyone really cares what the brand of rod, reel, wader or nipper is. The proof is in the showing, not talking about it. In other words, just do it.
Boy oh boy, I better make a trip north soon.
TD
Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
Thought of the day:
We’ve been lied to all out lives when we were told …there is no such thing as a stupid question; and …people really do care about what you think.
Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
Looking for lazy isn’t cheap
Think about it, ice fishing is for lazy people …at least that’s the way it was before all of the conveniences that made ice fishing a snap.
Take getting out on the ice: before snowmobiles and ATVs, everything taken on the ice was drug or carried. Unless you were fishing on a large lake that froze solid – a foot or more – and was big enough to spread the weight of vehicles, you didn’t chance driving the family car out on the ice. I remember getting bait in a shop in Tilbury, Canada, reading a sign that said if a car went through the ice, the owner would be fined $5,000.00 (Canadian of course; back then that was a deal.) It went on the say, the cost for removing the vehicle was $5,000.00. We went anyway.
When you carried or drug everything you needed, your needs were scant: something to cut or chop the holes; your poles and bait and something to sit on …oh yes, there was always peppermint schnapps in someone’s pocket. Once the holes were chopped or drilled and tip-ups placed, you sat down over one hole, dropped your hand line and waited. The only physical activity was when another hole was chopped and when you packed up and made the trek back to shore.
In older times, there would be a roaring fire close to shore to warmup and dry wet gloves and sleeves. It was also where the group gathered to drink hot coffee and toast or roast lunch.
Now of course, ice fishing is more of a physical sport. I mean there are things that require effort. Take the ATVs and snowmobiles. It’s been a while since I’ve owned a snowmobile, but when I did, getting unstuck, restarting the damned thing (no electric start) and loading and unloading it was like chopping wood; it got you warm without having a fire.
By the time you set up all of the gadgets that tell you …no, let you see where the fish are, more calories spent. The shelter has to be brought and anchored and outfitted with enough conveniences to call it a lodge. Sure, it’s a popup, but when the snowmobile breaks down, it’s like pulling a log cabin across the ice.
All these conveniences are designed to make sitting on the ice more tolerable and pleasurable. Of course, I’m exaggerating about the effort it takes to use them. But when all is said and done, it was sure nice when the only thing you needed or wanted was an auger or ax and a couple of homemade rods and tip-ups.
Got to go now and load the shanty on the sled. Who’s got the peppermint schnapps?
TD
Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
Free advice can cost money!
Those who have been smitten by the out-of-doors in one fashion or another – after feeling secure in their being able to sound like “old salts” – will usually become generous in the “giving of advice” department. That is, of course, with exception of sharing a productive spot on a favorite river where big trout hang out. (There are no fish in the Jordan River between Graves Crossing and Chestonia and I don’t know where Chestonia is.)
But, having said that, sharing and comparing equipment and gadgets, becomes a pleasurable pastime and often results in both the induction of someone new into the sport, or the leading of the weak-minded down the primrose path to bankruptcy or close to divorce …and if nothing else, an appreciation for drink – usually bourbon.
I am often asked what rod to buy when someone wants to get into fly fishing, and there was a time when I’d spout off with one make of rod or another, but age has weathered my thinking to suggest, no matter what make of rod you buy, no matter the cost, decide what you want to use it for and try out several makes before you tell your “She Who Must Be Obeyed” that she’ll have to forgo the new carpet for another year because there is something of great necessity that has to be purchased.
If there is one piece of information that applies to buying that initial fly rod and related equipment, it is: know what you want to fish for; that is, know what you want the equipment to do, and try it out with someone who knows how to use it. The brand of rod is less important than its weight and flex. You can flail with a broomstick, but flailing isn’t what you’re trying to do.
And remember, it’s only a good deal if it works for you and you enjoy using it …otherwise, you might as well buy the carpet.
TD
Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
Turn off that damned television!
It’s only the 4th of January and I’m already short tempered and disgusted with the offerings on cable TV. The original idea behind cable was to pay for the service and avoid commercials, but guess what, most shows – especially outdoor programs – are nothing more than infomercials. By the time you’re done watching those shows, you either check the available balance on your credit card, or change hobbies … if you don’t get the equipment the host is using, you’re not going to be successful and won’t have any fun. But if I do watch, read or listen to the “pros,” I’m going to have to take a class because my generation isn’t very adept at using all of the electronic gizmos and gadgets that are “required” to catch fish. 
What ever happened to Mort Neff, Howard Shelly and Gene Little or other pioneers in outdoor programing? Back when Michigan Outdoors aired on TV, the idea was to get outdoors and have fun fishing, hunting or just plain being outdoors. Their aim was to show how it was done and the rewards of doing it …like eating what you caught or killed.
The equipment they used was what was available – not because of the name brand, but because of its function. Most of which was handed down from father to son and so on. Fly fishing was one of the more expensive sports because of the time and material put into the building of a rod. But it wasn’t uncommon for a piscator to use one fly rod for all his fly fishing.
Times have changed of course, and since the movie, A River Runs Through It, prices have skyrocketed for everything from hooks to waders. Remember when monofilament was sold on 1,000 yard spools for a couple of bucks? You chose it for its tinsel strength and didn’t care about the small print. One spool filled all of your reels and then some. Now you pay $30 – $50 or more for the same mono line. I won’t even get into fluorocarbon. (Yea, I know; it’s new and improved.)
I think what has me in this foul mood, is, I’m bored and waiting for the sun to either let the lake freeze so I can sit on it and fish, or warm things up.
Ok, I’ve vented. I’m going to my tying desk and tie the same patterns I’ve tied for the last 40 or so years – patterns I’ve caught fish on – and put them in my old fly boxes, in my old vest and fish them in the same water I’ve fished for years and have a map of in my mind.
And if you see me on a lake or stream, don’t bother to tell me I’m not doing it right; I’m having fun.
TD
Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
Dumb, Santa …no cookies!
The ten year old wasn’t a hundred percent convinced that Santa was real, but he figured why take a chance. So at the mall, he decided to get in line with his little sister and wait to sit on Santa’s lap. The line wasn’t too long and went quickly. When it was his turn, sitting on Santa’s lap, Santa asked him, “What do you want for Christmas, little man?”
“I want a vise,” he said. “My dad has one and I want one like his.”
Santa looked perplexed and decided he better set the kid straight. “What do you want a vice for, don’t you know you should try not to have a vice? Grownups sometimes fall into a bad habit and get a vice. I’m sure if you talked to your dad about it, he’d tell you not to get a vice.”
Now the boy was completely confused. He thought about it for a minute then said, “If my mom lets me have a vise is it OK then?”
Santa figured this was his way to get out of the conversation and said, “You bet, little man. If your mom agrees to you getting a vice, then I guess it will be OK.”
The boy left and found his mother and told her what Santa had said. She thought about it for a while, then said, instead of leaving milk and cookies for him on Christmas Eve, I’ll leave him a note that it’s OK to leave you a vise, you won’t turn it into a vice.
Santa came and red the note.
Mary Christmas!
TD
Category Archives: Tongue ‘n Cheek
From the mind of a 10 year old!
I’m Tired of Being Good Before Christmas
By Mary Drinkwine ‘93
I’m tired of being good before Christmas,
I’m tired of doing hundreds of chores.
Bot mother says, “Quit your pouting;”
And grudgingly, I let my dog outdoors.
I hate following commands,
And taking lots of showers.
I’d rather bang pots and pans,
Than stay up for just a couple of hours.
It’s boring to set the table,
It’s boring to water the plants.
It’s boring to clean my hamster’s cage,
But mother says if I do these things, I might get 2 or 3 pair of pants.
And why do I have to say, “Thank you?”
And “Excuse me” and “Your welcome” and “Please?”
I’d rather drive a sports car,
And not let my sister have the keys.
I’m trying my best to be nice;
I’m trying by best to be caring.
But if Christmas doesn’t hurry and get here,
I’ll freak out from always sharing.